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Baby month 4 for dads: cooing, chuckles and the 16-week jabs

In month 4 most babies are cooing, chuckling and holding their head steady when held. Milk is still the whole menu until around 6 months. Your jobs: take real night shifts, do daily tummy time, and handle the next round of vaccines.

How to read this

Month 4 means the baby is between 3 and 4 months old. Everything below is a typical range, not a test: babies get there at different times. If your baby was born early, ask your health visitor or pediatrician how to count. Anything that worries you goes to your GP, health visitor or pediatrician, or NHS 111 / 911 when it is urgent.

▸What is typical for the baby this month

Development: what is typical by 4 months

CDC milestones are things most babies (75% or more) can do by a given age, so they are a guide to talk through with the doctor, not a pass or fail. By 4 months, most babies smile on their own to get your attention, chuckle when you try to make them laugh, coo, make sounds back when you talk, and turn their head towards your voice. [CDC]

Physically, most hold their head steady without support while you hold them, bring their hands to their mouth, swing at toys, hold a toy you put in their hand, and push up onto their forearms when on their tummy. [CDC]

If something worries you, or your baby loses a skill they had, CDC says not to wait: raise it with the doctor and ask about developmental screening. In the UK, your health visitor or GP is the person to ask. [CDC · NHS]

Sleep

From around 3 to 6 months babies need fewer night feeds and some sleep 5 to 8 hours or longer at night, but not all do. Every baby has its own pattern. [NHS]

Keep the cot or crib in your room for at least the first 6 months, put the baby down on their back on a firm, flat surface, and keep soft bedding, pillows, bumpers and soft toys out of the sleep space. [NHS · CDC]

Feeding

Breast milk or first infant formula gives a baby everything they need until around 6 months. Starting solids before 4 months is not recommended. [NHS · CDC]

In the UK, breastfed babies and babies having less than 500ml of formula a day are advised to have a daily vitamin D supplement from birth. [NHS]

▸Your jobs this month

  1. Take a fixed night shift so she gets one long block of sleep. The NHS suggests partners share the feeds if the baby has formula, or take over the early morning change and dress if she is breastfeeding.
  2. Do tummy time every day, on the floor or on your chest while you are wide awake. Short and often beats long and miserable.
  3. Talk and sing to the baby through the routine jobs. It does not matter what you say; it all feeds their communication.
  4. Book or confirm the next vaccine appointment, and be the parent who goes. UK: the 16-week visit. US: the 4-month visit.
  5. Recheck the sleep setup: back to sleep, firm flat mattress, nothing soft in the cot or crib.

▸Her recovery, your head, and the two of you

By month 4 the visitors have usually gone and the sleep debt is real. Keep the night split fair and say it out loud, so she does not have to ask.

Postnatal depression signs the NHS lists include low mood, finding it hard to enjoy anything, feeling hopeless or unable to cope, feeling guilty or like a bad parent, constant worry, irritability, trouble sleeping even when there is a chance to rest, trouble concentrating, difficulty bonding with the baby, and thoughts of suicide or of harming herself or the baby. Symptoms can start any time up to a year after the birth. [NHS]

It is not only her. NHS Best Start in Life says up to 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men develop a mental health problem such as depression or anxiety in pregnancy or the first year after the birth, and the NHS says fathers and partners can also get depression after a baby. [NHS Best Start in Life · NHS]

Where to get help

UK: talk to your GP, midwife or health visitor. In England, adults can also refer themselves to NHS talking therapies. PANDAS runs support groups, a text line and a callback service, and Samaritans answer on 116 123. In an emergency call 999. [NHS · PANDAS]

US: talk to her OB or your own doctor. The Postpartum Support International HelpLine is 1-800-944-4773 (call or text; it takes a message and a trained volunteer gets back to you), and PSI runs a support group for dads. For a crisis, call or text 988, any time. In an emergency call 911. [PSI · PSI · 988]

▸Money and paperwork around now

UK: if you have not claimed Child Benefit yet, claim now. A claim can only be backdated up to 3 months, so every week of delay past that is money lost. [GOV.UK]

UK: planning Shared Parental Leave later in the year? Each block needs at least 8 weeks of written notice, and the leave has to be used in the baby's first year. [GOV.UK]

US: a birth is a change in status under IRS cafeteria plan rules, so your plan may let you change your dependent care FSA election. The plan sets the deadline, so ask HR now if you missed it. [IRS · IRS]

Get every first-year deadline as a date → · Vaccination schedule (UK and US) →

▸Common questions

How much should a 4 month old sleep at night?

It varies. The NHS says that from around 3 to 6 months some babies sleep 5 to 8 hours or longer at night, but not all do, and every baby has its own pattern.

Can we start solid food at 4 months?

The NHS advises waiting until around 6 months, and the CDC says starting before 4 months is not recommended. If your baby was premature, ask your health visitor, GP or pediatrician.

What vaccines are around month 4?

UK: the 16-week visit (6-in-1 third dose and the first pneumococcal dose). US: the 4-month visit (second doses of rotavirus, DTaP, Hib, pneumococcal and polio). Follow the dates your GP or pediatrician gives you.

▸The whole first year

M1BABY WEEKS 1-4M2BABY WEEKS 5-8M3BABY WEEKS 9-12M4YOU ARE HEREM5GUIDEM6GUIDEM7GUIDEM8GUIDEM9GUIDEM10GUIDEM11GUIDEM12GUIDE
Not medical advice

This is general information for expectant fathers, not clinical guidance. Anything about symptoms, pain, or bleeding goes to your midwife, doctor, or emergency service, not to an app.

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Your first year, dated from the birthday.

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▸Sources

Checked against these pages. Where guidance differs by country, follow your own GP, health visitor or pediatrician.